So, I was reading Madame Noire today, and I came accross a blog “8 Signs YOU’RE not a Grown A** Woman”. I thought it was interested, but I felt they missed out on quite a few things. I decided to make my own list, based what our twitter and facebook followers thought.. well ofcourse we can all agree on many of these.. so Here goes…
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10. You Dress Unrealistically. 

  The reason I used the word “Unrealistically” is because, there isn’t any other word I can find to fit into this category. Please ladies, I understand we all love to flaunt what we got, but there is no excuse! Please, here is my list of Don’ts:

1. DO NOT WEAR CATSUITS!! They are lovely in Runway shows, and look sexy on cat-woman, yes, you see them in music videos, but no, it is not cool to wear a catsuit out. No matter how many times Nicki Minaj does it. She is a performer, she can pull it off, because again, it is all part of her act. But you are not her, nor are you cat-woman. What you are doing is over-sexualizing yourself, and making yourself look like a sleazy piece of meat that any man can take advantage of (no matter how good you look in it) hence, the picture on the right.

2. Undergarments are exactly what they are, garments to be worn UNDERNEATH clothing. So stop walking around in lingerie, that just makes you look like a hot mess, and definitely isn’t grown! Please leave something to the imagination.

3. Any article of clothing that a streetwalker would consider work attire should be retired. In this case, less is not more… keep your clothes on, and ur booties covered ladies.

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9. Posing and Dancing like your testing for Playboy

 Please please enough with the “Please look at my booty right now, while I make the constipated face” pictures, and enough of the dry humping other people. Not a good look, you are definitely not a Grown woman if you partake in these activities. With a few exceptions. I understand that alot of women are “models”, that is fine, take as many professional pictures as you want, but when your in public, in the club, act correct!!!

8. Fighting.

 When a woman purposely picks a fight, it is disgusting. Not to say that you can’t defend yourself, but if your one of those ladies who thinks its okay to put your hands on someone, then you are still a child. It is never okay for anyone to try and hurt another human being. Men, they’re beasts (lol) so we can expect that from them, but as women, we need to set a precedent, an example. Don’t get me wrong, If someone tries to hurt me, I will defend myself. Yes, I’m a black belt in taekwondo, but you don’t see me trying to fight everyone who comes my way. My point is, let your class, respect, loyalty and intelligence show your strength. Just because you can fight, doesn’t mean you should.

7.The Sloppy Drunk

   Please.  Need I say anymore? If you can’t hold your liquor, then don’t do it! Don’t embarass yourself!

6. Keep your personal life private.

 Here’s a little story. My girl Kay (name has been changed because she will kill me…) loves to explore, and meet new men. The thing is, when you live in a city, even as big as NYC, you tend to go to the same places, because you enjoy the food, or music or whatever atmosphere it is. At these place, you constantly see the same people. Now, ofcourse when you’re single, you want to have fun, but Kay would find a guy, and have a makeout session at the club, or lounge with them. Now, she barely took any of these guys home, but after a while she realized, men were becoming more and more aggressive with her, and alot more disrespectful when she wouldn’t invite ’em home. The invitation for a date had dwindled, and the after midnight text messages were winding up.. After getting a disrespectful text, She asked me one day “Athena, I don’t get it, I’m a grown woman, how the hell is he gonna treat me like that”.. and I responded.. “Well you’re not acting like one. People see you with a different guy every week, what do you expect them to think?” thats when she realized that, having chemistry and flirting can be harmless and ladylike out in the open, and as soon as she stopped the PDAs, she started scoring dates. So lesson here is. If your grown, keep your personal life personal. No one wants to see a grown woman act like a slore, nor does anyone want PDAs rubbed in their face.

5. Impossible Expectations

I hate when every woman seems to think she can catch a “Baller”. All I hear is “I’m a grown woman, I need a man that can support me, and buy me things.” No. No. No.  What ladies need to understand is that if you need someone to support you, then you’re not grown at all. You shouldn’t date based on how deep someone’s pockets are. I understand that everyone wants to live a happy comfortable life, but you need to depend on yourself first!

4.Spending Beyond your Budget

We all love well made items. Yes, we love shoes, and bags, and dresses and accessories! But ladies… When I see you walking down the street with that Chanel Bag, and those Louboutins, knowing that those two items just cost you two months of your salary, I am cracking up! Buy what  you can afford! And don’t go to china town and buy knockoffs now, that makes it worse. Not everyone needs “red bottoms” or “herve leger” dresses, or “Gucci” Bags. It shouldn’t be about the price, it should be about the aesthetic. Stop trying to be something your not! Pay your rent first! I had a friend who once admitted to me that she asks men for money to pay her bills, meanwhile I would see her walking around with the latest YSL or Chanel or FENDI items.. Seriously? That’s not grown! Grow Up ladies!!

3. You have an Entourage

No. No. No. Ladies if you and 30 of your closest friends are going out, make it a private event. Having a large entourage makes you seem unapproachable, and as if you need all these people to validate to yourself that your special. 2-3 friends, 4 at most.

2. Gossip/cyber-thugs
  Online everyone thinks they’re tough! Everyone can say what they want! She’ll kick your butt, and you’ll beat her up, and her man wants you, and you’re so much better than her, and she did this, and she said that and he said this and he did that… Remind you of anything? This should be a highschool memory, not what happend last night… Grow Up!!!!


1. Baby Talk.

 The final one. Yes you’re trying to be cute. But I don’t know any grown woman who talks in “baby talk” unless its to her kids! Quit acting like a child! Acting like that will just bring you down in every way. It’s not sexy, It’s not attractive, and definitely not smart! 

Well… I hope this helped….

I hope not everyone got too offended.. LOL

xoxo Athena

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